For decades, we’ve been taught to “manage behaviour” as if behaviour exists in a vacuum. It doesn’t.
Behaviour is simply the smoke.
Emotion is the fire.
And fire doesn’t go out because you tell it to.
It goes out because you learn how to work with it.
The good news?
You don’t need a psychology degree or a meditation retreat to start building emotional awareness. You need a few simple, repeatable practices that help you tune into what’s really happening before you react.
That’s what this article is about. It starts with awareness. With awareness comes choice.
Change isn’t coming in a memo, nor is it coming in a massive funding announcement or personal epiphany. Change is coming through 1000s of small acts of connection. Below, you’ll find three small practices, one for yourself, one you can weave into your leadership, and one you can bring into your community. None of them is significant. None of them is complicated. But together, they create the foundation for deeper connection, better decision-making, and fewer “Oh shit… why did I do that?” moments.
Let’s get into it.
1. For Self: The 90-Second Name & Notice
A micro-practice for personal emotional awareness.
How it works:
- When you feel something spike (stress, irritation, sadness, overwhelm), pause for 90 seconds.
- Name the emotion as precisely as you can — not “I’m fine,” not “I’m stressed,” but something closer to “I’m anxious about disappointing someone,” or “I’m frustrated because I feel unheard.”
- Notice where it shows up in your body — tight chest, clenched jaw, shallow breath, hot face, buzzing energy.
Why it works:
Emotions start as physiological sensations long before they become thoughts.
Naming them interrupts the autopilot reaction cycle and gives you a choice in what happens next.
2. For Leaders: The Two-Word Check-In
A simple rhythm-building tool for emotional awareness on teams.
How it works:
At the start of any meeting, 30 seconds is enough, go around the table and ask:
“Give me two words for how you’re feeling in this moment.”
That’s it.
Not a therapy circle.
Not a story.
Just two words.
Examples:
“Tired & hopeful.”
“Frustrated but focused.”
“Overwhelmed and caffeinated.”
Why it works:
- It normalizes emotional language without making it heavy.
- It lets leaders quietly spot who may need extra support.
- It humanizes the room and lowers the collective guard.
This one shifts culture without any formal training.
3. For Community: The “How Can I Support You?” Question
A practice that builds emotional awareness between people.
How it works:
When someone shares anything — a stressor, a frustration, a win, a loss — instead of responding with advice, a comparison story, or a fix, ask:
“How can I support you right now?”
Or its cousins:
“Do you want comfort, clarity, or coaching?”
“Should I be a hug, a flashlight, or a toolbox?”
“Are you looking for support, insight, or a plan?”
“Do you want connection, clarity, or direction?”
“Do you want empathy or strategy?”
Why it works:
- It keeps the focus on them, not your reaction.
- It trains you to pause, listen, and attune to what the person is actually needing.
- It avoids the “shift response” trap that shuts men down instantly.
It’s the simplest way to create connection in a world where everyone assumes they know what others need.
