I was 2 minutes into Tim Ferris’ podcast with Jerry Colonna, and I knew I needed to learn more about this man and his leadership philosophy. Immediately after sharing how much his philosophy resonated with Michelle, I grabbed his book Reboot and reached out to him on LinkedIn. I highly recommend picking up a copy of “Reboot: Leadership and the Art of Growing Up.” Jerry is a fantastic writer, and while I often only manage to navigate the first chapter or two of most self-help books, Reboot kept me engaged throughout.
While all the leadership concepts in this book are applicable regardless of gender, I like to look at things through the lens of what it means to be a man. There are some unique societal pressures on men that create some unique challenges that require some unique solutions. I took seven insights from Jerry’s book and how they apply specifically to male leaders.
1. Embrace Radical Self-Inquiry
Lesson: Jerry advocates for us to engage in radical self-inquiry, which involves deep introspection to understand our motivations, fears, and desires. I love the simplicity of the term. I’ve referred to this as doing the deep work, or as Jung would call it, “Shadow work.” The “Radical Self-Inquiry” process helps us align our actions with our actual values.
For Male Leaders: Men often face societal pressures to appear strong and invulnerable. Radical self-inquiry encourages male leaders to confront their vulnerabilities and insecurities, fostering authenticity and genuine connections with themselves and their teams.
2. Lead with Empathy and Compassion
Lesson: Effective leadership requires empathy and compassion, both towards oneself and others. Colonna emphasizes the need for leaders to create a supportive and understanding environment.
For Male Leaders: Traditional notions of masculinity can discourage the expression of empathy and compassion. These qualities are often thought of as weak or soft. There is ample research showing that the qualities of empathy and compassion are fundamental components of effective leadership. By leading with these qualities, male leaders can break free from stereotypes, promoting a more inclusive and humane workplace culture.
3. Accept and Integrate Your Past
Lesson: Colonna stresses the importance of acknowledging and integrating past experiences, including failures and traumas, as part of one’s leadership journey.
For Male Leaders: This one is so important for men. We often carry unspoken burdens of shame and guilt related to past mistakes. Accepting and integrating these experiences can lead to greater resilience and wisdom, enabling you to navigate challenges with greater poise.
4. Foster a Culture of Trust and Vulnerability
Lesson: Building a culture that encourages trust and vulnerability is crucial for team cohesion and innovation. You can model this behavior by being open about your struggles and uncertainties.
For Male Leaders: Admitting vulnerability can be particularly challenging for men due to cultural expectations. However, doing so can dismantle harmful tropes of burying, suppressing or avoiding difficult emotions, creating a more open and supportive environment where team members feel safe to share ideas and take risks.
Read more on Psychological Safety.
5. Slow Down and Be Present
Lesson: Colonna advises leaders to slow down, be present, and fully engage with their teams and themselves. This mindfulness approach helps in making thoughtful decisions and maintaining balance.
For Male Leaders: In a fast-paced world, men might feel pressured to perform and achieve constantly. Slowing down allows male leaders to reconnect with their inner selves, reducing stress and enhancing their ability to lead with clarity and purpose.
6. Develop a Growth Mindset
Lesson: Embracing a growth mindset, where challenges are seen as opportunities for learning and development, is essential for leadership growth.
For Male Leaders: Encouraging a growth mindset helps us view mistakes as part of the learning process rather than failures, fostering a culture of continuous improvement and resilience. For many men, this notion of making a mistake or having a failure comes with a lot of shame. When we shift the mindset to looking at these “failures” as requisite parts of growth, we release that shame and embrace the lessons.
7. Build and Lean on Your Community
Lesson: Colonna highlights the importance of building a strong support network and seeking help when needed. Community and connection are vital for personal and professional growth.
For Male Leaders: Men often struggle with loneliness and the stigma of seeking help. Building a supportive community can provide male leaders with the emotional and professional support needed to thrive, reinforcing the power of connection and shared experiences.
Integrating SOAR Principles
I think I appreciated Jerry’s teaching because they closely align with the SOAR framework I use in my coaching. By applying the SOAR principles (Slow Down, Open Up/Observe, Accept, Reconnect), male leaders can enhance their leadership practices as follows:
- Slow Down: Prioritize mindfulness and presence to make deliberate, thoughtful decisions.
- Open Up/Observe: Cultivate self-awareness and empathy, observing their own emotions and those of others without judgment.
- Accept: Embrace their past and present experiences, acknowledging their full range of emotions and integrating these into their leadership style.
- Reconnect: Foster deeper connections with themselves and their teams, building a culture of trust and vulnerability.
These lessons from “Reboot” align with a holistic approach to leadership that encourages us to embrace our whole selves, acknowledge our emotions and traumas, and foster healthier, more self-aware interactions.
Do any of these lessons resonate with you?
