Language is powerful, it is important to get it right. I spend much time discussing the importance of Emotional Connection, particularly for men, and its impact on leadership, peak performance, and mental health. I share practices that I have found helpful in my journey, but I have not spent much time discussing what Emotional Connection means in the context I use it. So, let’s do that now, shall we?
Firstly, I like to think of Emotional Connection on a continuum. On one side of the continuum, we are entirely isolated from self, others and the community. It’s important to note that I don’t mean physically isolated. We can be surrounded by thousands and still be completely isolated.
On the other end of the continuum we are fully emotionally connected to self, to others and to the community.
It is important to understand that connection is a point-in-time measure. Much like physical fitness, we know that there are times in our lives when we have been more or less physically fit than others. We also know that, as with fitness, connection requires maintenance. It is equally true that no matter where we are on the continuum, we can always move further up the scale.
I segment Emotional Connection into three buckets: Emotional Connection with ourselves, Emotional Connection with others, and Emotional Connection with community.
Below are the ingredients for each of those connection buckets:
- Emotional Connection with Self:
- Awareness: Being in tune with your feelings, motives, and desires.
- Acceptance: Embracing all aspects of your emotions without judgment, acknowledging strengths and vulnerabilities.
- Authenticity: Acting in ways congruent with your inner feelings and values, not just external expectations.
- Emotional Connection with Others:
- Empathy: The ability to emotionally resonate with another person, imagining or intuitively feeling what they feel. This ability may transcend complete understanding but foster a deep emotional connection.
- Vulnerability: Allowing yourself to be seen authentically, sharing your true thoughts and feelings, and inviting others to do the same.
- Challenge and Support: Offering and receiving emotional support, demonstrating through actions and words that you care. Also, offering and receiving challenge to grow. When we have nothing but support, we become apathetic and do not grow. When all we receive is challenge with no support, we become overwhelmed and burnt out. It is about finding the right balance of challenge and support. I strive to create an environment that is safe, though not necessarily comfortable.
- Emotional Connection with Community:
- Engagement: Participating actively within the community, contributing to its well-being and development.
- Belonging: Feeling a sense of inclusion and acceptance within a group, sharing common values and goals.
- Influence: Impacting the collective emotional health of the community through positive interactions and leadership.
Combining all these elements, I define emotional connection as:
Emotional connection represents a deep and meaningful bond one forms with oneself, others, and the community. It involves harmonious engagement with one’s emotions and values, empathetic and vulnerable interactions with others, and active, supportive involvement in the community. This connection fosters understanding, belonging, and mutual support, enhancing personal and collective well-being.
I have created a short self-assessment to gauge where you are at this point in your life and provide a few resources to help you continue to explore and continue to grow.
