Have you ever had a crisis of confidence?
Today I went back in to work on final edits of a book I finished the first draft of over a year ago. At the very top of the document, I found what amounts to a journal entry the last time I looked at it. I share this today so that you, my readers, friends, and followers will help keep me accountable to finish this thing. Will you help? Give me a little nudge in the comments please!
April 21, 2018: You will likely never know this but it has been awhile 🙂
I think it was Stephen Pressfield who said “It is not the writing that is hard. It is the sitting down to write.”
For whatever reason, I have been reluctant to sit down to write lately. I seem to have had some measure of a crisis of confidence. It is a feeling that surely plagues us all. Whether we call it imposter syndrome or just our demons of doubt, these feelings I at least hope, are not unique to me. We see these folks, especially now on social media, espousing great mantras of self-confidence and bravado. Perhaps they really feel that way, perhaps they are just trying to make themselves feel it. The old ‘fake it til you make it’ adage. Whatever it is I need to find some of it.
I think it is about having some little successes along the way. That though, requires putting yourself out there. If no one sees our work then we have no opportunity for success. Though the flip side is that we, therefore, have no chance of failure either. It is a safe comfy little space to play in.
So why the fuck am I here? I have never been one to play it safe. I have always been about moving forward regardless of outcomes. Sometimes I win sometimes I suck. I loved Dave Proctors discussion about how he sucked at every other race, and that meant that he also succeeded at every second race.
If you do not enter the race you have no opportunity to win, place or show. So, Mike, it is time to become that man in the arena. Time to put on your gear and step into the ring. It is absolutely fucking terrifying to think that you may well get the shit knocked out of you by those who choose to stand on the sidelines. Ask yourself this though: “Would you rather wither and fade in silence or would you rather crash and burn in a blaze of glory.”
His mind said “What if I can’t? What if I am no good? What if I fail?” Then his heart spoke up “But what if you can?! What if you really are that good? What if you succeed?” So he proceeded in spite of his fears.
Yes, sometimes I write to myself.